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Scaling Mt. Chiseled

13 PAX, including two FNGs, braved the icy cold this morning to climb the slopes of Mt. Chiseled. A quick check of the weather app last night led this guy to believe we’d have temps around 34 degrees. Cold, but nothing out of the ordinary. On the ride to the AO at 0500 the truck temp read 27. Frosted Coupons. A frozen tire. Ice in the buckets? This is no time for an audible!


The Warmup:

Quick jog around Mt. Chiseled to get our bearings and get those creaky joints moving. Back to the start and each PAX grabs 2 bricks.

AMRAP – 1 minute each with a 10 second transition period between

  • SSH
  • Lunges
  • Mountain Climbers
  • Speed Skaters
  • LBCs
  • Burpees
  • Squats
  • Box Cutters
  • Dry Docks
  • Curls
  • Flutters
  • Mike Tysons

Not much mumble chatter. One PAX mentioned it might’ve been cause everyone was secretly thinking how much they hated me.

The Thang:

Hearken now and hear my tale of a band of adventurers. Brothers. PAX! Who braved the chill and wintry morn’ to challenge themselves, test their mettle, weave this tale of gallant daring, and impose their will upon the mountain!

To the far side of Mt. Chiseled they strode and gathered up the great bricks of stone.

At last they were off with ten goblet squats that had broken down many lesser men. Then down with the stone and up the icy cliffs, across the far side of the frozen tundra where they warmed themselves by doing a single, solitary burpee. Alas, no rest for these weary souls, so back across the icy plains to the slippery peak of the mountain and descend, descend, carefully… gracefully, down the treacherous mountainside.

Again, again! Nine squats, two burpees. Eight squats, three burpees! These brave adventurers pushed and forged ahead on a quest that seemingly had no end. When their bodies felt they could surely handle no more, at last reprieve was upon them. In total, no less than five and fifty burpees and five and fifty goblet squats were vanquished by these brave PAX.

With the dreaded peak now behind them, the determined warriors strode forth to steel themselves against one last test.

In teams of three the PAX found themselves strewn across a vast battlefield. On one end they toiled to lift great coupons to row, curl and press. On the other the men speedily skated, pushed down the earth, and scaled the ground like a web crawler. And in between, the hearty PAX sprinted with great haste to relieve the brothers of their onerous burdens.

It was on this set of tasks the determined brotherhood labored until the final trek to where their journey both began and would now end.



If you actually read that then I’m sorry. Sitting at the courthouse while awaiting a hearing means a lot of bored free time.

Big thanks to Fuse for showing up early to assist with the coupons and then making another run to storage when the PAX count exceeded expectations.

Another thanks to Xerox and Mayhem for helping with the clean up.

Welcome to Sambuca and Uncle Si (double respect. Not sure if those guys were warned what they were getting into but they looked like regulars to me. When you meet them, be sure to ask how they got their names.

Welcome back to Offline. After some injuries and an extended time off he was back and sweating with the rest of us


  • Christ’s Closet – folding opportunity this Saturday. 8am at Union United Methodist Church. Some big piles of clothing and many hands make light work
  • Mayhem let us know about a mission trip he’s co-leading to Nicaragua that will assist with projects like building schools, roofing homes, and more. He’d love to have several PAX join the trip, but I’m sure donations would be appreciated as well. More info here:

Thanks Recalculating for taking us out.

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