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Gimmie 5

24 Pax have to read this BB to see if my written instructions were any better than the verbal ones. Press the T-claps button once for yes; twice for no.

Warmup
MASHers hung at the start with the promise that we’d be right back. Pick some partners for The Thang

At the far end of the parking lot, referred to now as Island 1, we
Moseyed to I2 for SSH
Mosey to I3 for Mountain Climbers
Mosey to I4 for Crab Cakes
Crab walk to I5 (really short distance) for Moroccan Squatclubs; Tanyatine knows the difference between a Crab Walk & a Walk Crab (Weasel Shaker Apprentice?)
Mosey to I6 for Downward Dog

We’re going to pick partners of opposite ability by the time we sprint back to I1.

The Thang

Great ideas marred by poor instructions
5 Block exercises posted on a whiteboard:

  • Curls
  • Thrusters
  • Blockees
  • Bench Press
  • Bent Over Rows

P1 has his back to I1 as he picks one of the 5 above. Some are harder than others. The exercises can be done in any order, as long as they all get done.
P2 runs around one of the 5 islands where we exercised. Each lap would be a different distance. The laps can be run in any order, as long as they all get run.
The partners can’t tell each other what they are going to do. So you take a chance that you’re doing Blockees while your partner is running the longest loop. Or you have easy curls but your partner just ran the shortest loop. Popeye clearly made some poor choices, but he blamed me as we ran past each other. Some kind of twisted mind game, he said. Yeah, that’s about right.
I had my friend, FNG Dilbert as my partner. I think he ran the longest lap EVERY TIME. It’s OK; he’s coming back tomorrow.

Finish early, flutter blocks.

Broken farmer carry to one side of the parking lot. I don’t know what makes guys want to slow down instead of speed up on this. Several urgent pleas to pick up the pace.

Brick bear walk to midline of parking lot. 20 Ax choppers (1=1). Continue to brick bear walk to the other side of the parking lot & do 20 tricep extensions.
In no way did I expect so many Pax out today! Just ran out of parking spaces to do this like I planned. #WaxhawWorldProblems

Set bricks down & suicides back to the block.

Murder bunnies to the midline. 15 military press. Continue murder bunnies to other sidewalk. Another 15 military presses.

Take just the block and run to the church side of Mt. Chiseled. Additional pleas for speed. Mostly went unheeded.

At the bottom, 20 IPC Windshield Wipers over the block (1=1). Then rifle carry around 1 of the 5 trees at the top of Mt. C. Repeat until you go around all 5 trees.
Another poor set of instructions. I was trying to pattern it after the Serpentine of Doom, where Pax would slide down the road as they go from one tree to the next. Instead, most Pax returned to their original spot & just kept crisscrossing to get to the next tree. We’ll get it right the next time.

Head back to COT. Should be easy, right? Lead feral cat Fuse Box thinks (to himself) that COT should be where the flag is instead of where we began these whole shenanigans. I thought it should end where we started. He is the OG Site Q here, so he outranks me. I was corrected in private. The other boss move he does is to critique my Q. Even doing this for over 5 years, it is absolutely the right thing to do as Site Q to provide that feedback. Unfortunately, #BroHugs are not Fuse’s love language (neither is public thanks), so all I could say was “Shut up! Nobody asked you!” It got him in all the feels.

Moleskine

  • Unlike any other Q I’ve done, this one was gone in a blink. I’m going to blame the Pax on their inability to speed walk a farmer’s carry or run with a block. IPC will not be kind to you this week. I don’t take any responsibility at all.
  • FNG Dilbert – I was so shocked he showed today! We’ve been soccer dads for about 5 years. Our sons are best friends. But I was stunned to get his text at 5 AM this morning saying he was over at Nesbit Park, but no one was there. Dude was looking for a little Morning Wood! Guided him to Chiseled just in time for the start. As of this writing, he’s bringing his son to The Floater tomorrow.
  • Dilbert got dangerously close to being called Man Crush from the way Nails was responding to his story.
  • This would have gone so much more sidewaysier if Fuse hadn’t brought the bricks from the transformer to the parking lot for easy pickin’s.
  • Had a chance to talk with Cookie afterwards. He lives in southern Jersey, but when his UNDERWATER construction job was destroyed in Florida, he’s hanging with Nails for a while. Be sure to make him feel welcome. He won’t be here forever, and he’s just a scoonch too far of a drive from F3 in his area. While he is here, be the F3 ambassadors so that he will seek it out as it inches closer to his home.
  • SPIKE CAME BACK TODAY. Another man I’d love to hug.

Announcements

  1. Only 2 of the 24 present were CPR certified. Surge is extremely disappointed in you. But, like a true HIM, he’s doing something about it. CPR & AED certification this Monday, September 28 at Weddington Methodist (Providence & 84) 6PM. $15. Contact Surge to get on the list.
    CPR certification is the sign of a prepared man. A man who takes responsibility to protect those around him. He provides for the greater good by enduring personal hardships.
  2. Blood drive 10/17 (SATURDAY) 9am-1pm. We have far less than 100 of our times filled. It’s time to get on the bench & roll up the sleeve.
    When this #Freed2Bleed initiative started, Waxhaw wasn’t the first to give, but we gave more than 2 older, bigger regions COMBINED. Now a target is on our back. I don’t think it was just a fluke, but the numbers are leaning that way. Rudy & Turnbuckle have come out of the gate removing the 2 barriers that held us back from even bigger gains last time – moving from weekday to weekend and starting out with 100 slots (instead of having to fight 10 slots at a time).
    They made it easier for you. Make it easier for them. Except for afterwards when TB is going to walk the number miles as donors. And do exercises equal to donors. Rudy, you’re probably planning something, too, right? https://www.redcrossblood.org/give.html/drive-results?zipSponsor=f3
  3. Christ Closet has a ton of clothes that need folding. It’s a Monday & Thursday job. Pairing with Ackbar’s Food Pantry on Thursdays was a genius move. Problem is, there’s a you-sized hole in that plan.
  4. Who do you know in the Cureton neighborhood? That’s where Neighborhood Watch will be this Sunday at 7:30 AM, starting at the clubhouse.
    7901 Sunset Hill Rd
    Waxhaw, NC 28173
    Walk or ruck for an hour.
    Have a Cureton man you’ve been trying to EH? Are they intimidated by the early time? Not in shape? Injured? Need to find out more? Maybe used to be in F3? Start planting the seed NOW that you’ll meet them there Sunday. The men I’ve passed by in the last few weeks have that Sad Clown look in their eye. You’ve seen it, too. You know they need this. It’s a strange kind of love that keeps us from offering a hard truth to a man you know can benefit from F3. The only way you can thank the one who brought you to F3 is to find another man.
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