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Kohl’s Konvergence (Cohl’s Convergence?)

There was a discussion on the Waxhaw side whether to hold a boot camp today.  Some wanted to keep all boot camps closed to force guys into the running only option.  I’m glad we did as 17 guys who would have otherwise fart sacked came out to get some first and second F in.  We also had 3 FNG’s!

The decision was made on Wednesday/Thursday to close all Waxhaw Boot Camps and converge with Da Vinci at Kohl’s.  C3PO was on Q for Da Vinci and since I was the loudest voice screaming that we needed a Boot Camp option in the Waxhaw region, we decided to co-Q this mornings workout.  C3PO gave me a peak at his Winkie on Friday and it seemed rather long (Damn I love a good winkie joke) at least the running part, so I decided I would keep mine low on running and high on exercises.  DiCC’s given.  C3PO decided to arrive right after I confirmed the C’s of DiCC’s – Cell Phone and CPR.  He had me worried I was going to have to stretch my 30 minutes into an hour.  Hard to stretch a winkie that far (Hey oh!?).  Let’s Go.

 

WARM UP

Lap around the Kohl’s parking lot.  Bad planning.  Lots of cars.  Cut it in half and inside the islands to avoid cars.  Circle up for:

  • 10 Mountain Climbers
  • Downward Dog
  • 10 Peter Parker’s
  • Calf Stretch
  • 10 Parker Peter’s
  • Downward Dog into a Jimmy Duggan (Potato Pickers without the Clap for you SOB guys – as Jimmy Duggan say’s in A League of Their Own “Avoid The Clap”.

THE THANG

Short mosey (apparently too short for Brutus as he had his galloping legs ready) to parking spaces for the return of Bruce Springsteen’s (unlike Paula Abdul’s which are two steps up and 1 step back, Springsteen’s are the opposite with 1 step up and two step back).  Bear crawl 1 parking spot for 10 Merkins then Crawl Bear backwards for 10 in/outs.  Repeat until you reach 50 Merkins and In/Outs.

Another short mosey to a parking lot island.   On the overhead map there are islands at each end of parking rows.  On one side do 5 Burpees.  Run across parking lot to opposite island for 10 jump squats.  Zig (or zag) back to the other/next parking lot island.  I believe we got in 30 Burpees and 60 jump squats.   Stopped shorter than I had planned due to parking lot traffic increasing.  LBC’s waiting on the 6.

I had one thing left on the Wienkie, but the watch check indicated still more time to kill before getting to it.   Mosey to back of Kohl’s and get on the wall for 20 seated air presses in cadence.  To the pure joy of all pax, I then called balls to the wall with a couple hand walks to the right and left.  Ok, that killed enough time.  Now time for the final part of the Wienkie.  Mosey to side of Kohl’s and find some elevated curb/sidewalk.  Jack Webb with Russian Get Up’s as the 1 and Squats as the 4.  A Russian Get Up is where you squat down, roll onto you back (thus the elevated sidewalk) and roll back onto your feet and squat/hop up.  So here we go – 1 Russian Get up and 4 squats.  2 Russian Get ups and 8 squats…..I get to 5 Russian Get ups and 20 squats and I start to wonder if we can make it to 10/40.  6/24 – yeah, this is starting to burn.  Brutus suggested we jog to the other curb and back to freshen our legs.  Good idea, lets do that.  Cool – 7/28……and I’m done.  3 minutes to burn so I called a run back to the other curb for 10 Merkins.  Back to starting curb for 10 Dry docks.  Repeato (that ones for you Chastain) and I’m out of time.  Dough Boy was visibly upset we didn’t finish the Jack Webb, but was quickly beaten down by other pax when he asked if we were going to finish it.   Torch handed to C3PO.

 

(Written from memory by Fuse Box).  Mosey past Starbucks weaving in and out of traffic and marathoners.   Hit a muddy trail towards a pond where we circle up and attempt to count off (attempt as we struggled a little bit here).  Ok, 4 teams picked, lets mosey again…..through even more mud.  (Damn you C3PO!!! – I’m kidding).  We reach a play ground where we separate into teams.  C3PO hands out cones with exercises on them and we get to work.  My group got through 3 of the cones and they included step ups, irkins, dips, inch worms, squat pull ups, a run up a steep wet grassy hill with burpees at top, and lots of other stuff.   Time getting short with a long mosey back to COT ahead of us.  Off we go….BACK THROUGH THE MUD!!!! Dang it!  We arrive to some fake grass and C3PO instructs guys to do some Mary while waiting for the 6.  The 6 arrives and with it brings the realization that that isn’t just fake grass, but a dog pee pad.  (I can laugh because I turned back to bring the 6 in and never got on the grass – suckers!  Proves your better off going back for the 6.).  30 Seconds left so we closed out with a few more Merkins.  Time!

 

MOLESKIN

  • A great group of guys this morning. Not much complaining except for the Springsteen’s, and the balls to the wall, and the Russian Get Ups, and the Muddy Run.  Wait, there was a lot of complaining!
  • Loved seeing Popeye and Chatter Box come together to bring out an FNG – Passport.   Passport has lived in 4 countries and visited over 30.  Close contenders were Carmen San Diego and Waldo.  Welcome out Passport!
  • Chatter Box has gone from the pushee to the pusher.  I saw him coaching up Passport several times and even put a hand in his back to get him going twice.  It hasn’t been that long ago since I had my hand on Chatter’s back pushing him.  I might of had a tear toll out of my eye seeing the pupil become the teacher.
  • C3PO drug out his neighbor and the neighbors son.   The son was named first.  He is in the robotics club at Marvin Ridge so we went with Watson (IBM).  His dad then told us he was originally from Scranton, PA and Office names started being thrown out.  Some wanted to go obscure, but ultimately we went with Dwight.  I suggest you get with Waxhaw Pax Dana to help you through the canned explanation of “No, Dwight isn’t my hospital name.  It is my F3 name”.
  • Coffetiera afterwards where we learned that the more acorns that are dropped, the colder the winter will be and that the MMA guy that recently got his face kicked in is actually from Ballantyne (Who’s going to EH him?).
  • A couple guys hung around to cheer on the marathon runners and gleefully talk about how we were glad that wasn’t us.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • Waxhaw is hosting a CPR class this Monday.  We have 7 spots open.  Not to call anyone out (kind of like southern bless their hearts), but only Waxhaw guys raised their hand when asked who was CPR certified.  SOB guys, come get certified on Monday.  6:00 to 8:00 at Waxhaw Bible School.
  • Area51 is having a Q School a week from today.  I don’t know the details but if your interested, go ask a question on the Area 51 channel.
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