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Hey Bob, you’ll love it

7 men gathered for another running of the cowbell. You know what we did. We kicked the snot out of ourselves with kettlebells and sprints for 3+ miles, continuing the shredding process making it difficult for the cowbell pax to walk without swaggering.

Poor Damascus. He has been dealing with a veritable mountain of troubles for months, barely posting, getting no exercise, and gaining weight. Knowing this, Bottlecap got that mischievous grin on his face that we all know and love.

  • Bottlecap said something like “Hey Bob, you should come out for Cowbell. It’s a new workout where we swing kettlebells.”
  • Damascus, thinking (correctly) that Bottlecap was his friend and (mistakenly) that Bottlecap had his best interests in mind, probably said, “hey thanks Lou. I’ve been wondering what my first workout back should be.”
  • Bottlecap, barely believing his scheme would work, said, “great, I will see you Wednesday.”

So Damascus showed up with a kettlebell that — by its size — should weigh 74 pounds. [Due to the helium it contained, no one was able to verify its true weight.]

Damascus then walked up to the line like he smelled something bad enough to choke a maggot. When he arrived, and saw Hurry and Tool Time looking nervous, Dasher faking lingering effects of COVID, and Sugar Daddy having lost his smile for the first time, Damascus suspected that Bottlecap had been talking with his tongue out of his shoe. And when the first long sprint was called, he had no doubt. To his credit, though he hung in there and pushed.

When confronted later about his prevarication, Bottlecap merely grinned, raised his hands, and replied, “hey I’m in sales. I may have left out a few details.”

So ended the third running of the cowbell. Thanks to Hurry for taking us out, and reminding us what a great gift we have in F3. Damascus was polite enough not to disagree.

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