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Toilet Weinke

Today was supposed to be Landfill’s vQ, but due to some unforeseen events it wasn’t the right time so I offered to Q Asylum for him. He may be regretting that after the “fun” we had this morning, but nobody got hurt so I’m sure we all are better for it.

I’ve done a few Qs in my day, so the fear of not having enough weinke to go around, or forgetting an exercise, or having too many people or not enough people is well behind me. Instead I’m firmly in the “procrastinate until right up to the last minute” and then I get around to figuring out what we’re gonna do. Honestly, I do my best work while sitting on my porcelain throne. #tmi

Last night at the cookout I did have an idea in my head that I wanted to revisit the Aggressive Corners (much worse/more aptly named than the traditional Progressive Corners). So that was the basis of this morning’s workout. The rest just kinda happened

Warmup

A semi-long mosey to the front of the Petsmart for a brief circle up of Side Straddle Hops, Imperial Walkers, Moroccan Night Clubs, Calf Stretches, Glidah Stretches, and maybe something else.

Mosey back to the top of the Hickory Tavern parking lot for:

The Warmup – Part Deux

I guess this was supposed to be The Thang, but halfway through it I joked we were still on the warmup. It was funny then, maybe not so much now. Oh well…

Aggressive 6 Corners

But Chastain!! You can’t have SIX corners. Shut up. I’m the Q and I can do what I want. Starting at the start (where else?) do 5 burpees then run to the opposite end of the parking lot and do 10 Merkins. Back to the start and do 5 burpees, then 10 Merkins, then to the next corner (next to Brooklyn Pizza) and do 15 Big Bois. Run all the way back to the start and begin again. It goes that way by adding 20 Step-Ups at the wall in front of Hickory Tavern, then 25 American Hammers (each side) behind the Tavern, and finally ending with 30 Mountain Climbers (2=1) behind the Brooklyn Pizza. For those of you counting at home you should be at 30 Burpees, 50 Merkins, 60 Big Bois, 60 Step-Ups, 50 American Hammers, and 30 Mountain Climbers.

Warmup complete.

The Thang

Can it really be “The Thang” if we’re already 30 minutes into the 45 minute workout? I dunno, I say “sure, why not?” I could sense everyone needed a 10 count after the warmup, so I asked Smokey to count while we were moseying to the front of the Petsmart. After he finished counting we continued moseying and I could tell everyone felt much better. I was proud of Smokey for knowing how to count all the way to 10.

Upon arrival at the wall we did a little chair sitting exercise with 50 air presses and then I gave everyone the tour of the parking lot by walking across while picking cherries and dropping them in the bucket. After we reached the curb we sprinted back to the wall.

For the next bit of fun we did 100 Donkey Kicks, 100 Curb Dips, and 100 Squats, all on your own. The trick was you had to run to the far curb and back 2 times per hundred reps. You could do the running all together. You could do 50 reps, run, then 50 more and run. I told the pax I didn’t care, though secretly I did care, but no one ever reads these backblasts so they’ll never know.

At this point Rain Man told me I wasn’t kidding about the Aggressive Corners being the warmup because this really was the meat of the workout. He wasn’t wrong. Fortunately, we were nearly out of time at this point so I made everyone pick some more cherries as we walked across the parking lot and back towards COT. Arriving there we had about 2 minutes left so we did some Mary, not to be confused with getting married, which apparently Fuse Box and Ghosted did over at Ignition.

Moleskin

If you’re still reading at this point you got the general gist of the morning. Running, panting, sweating, grunting, burpeeing, and surprisingly very little complaining occurred. I’ll work everyone harder next time. Thanks for the opportunity to lead. You didn’t really have a choice, but I’ll give you credit anyways.

Smokey took us out

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