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Impromptu monkey humpers and ruptured anal glands

YHC stayed up Friday night watching the USA-Mexico World Cup qualifier and was so pumped after another thrilling Dos a Cero victory by the stars and stripes that he couldn’t sleep and mentally planned out a weinke around the match based on specifics from the match: 2, 0 (preferably for burpees), 8 and 10 (Jersey numbers for the scorers, Pulisic and McKinnie), 14 (qualifying points attained so far), OHIO exercises (the state where the magic happens).

It was a great weinke. YHC remembered the plan about 25 minutes into the workout. Oops.


Mosey up to Kensington Rd for some exercises (there’s Mad Dog coming in hot, we’ll do more so he can find us here)

  • Squats
  • Wide squats
  • Baryshnikov squats
  • Alternating side lunges
  • Moroccan night clubs
  • Goofballs until at least 3 cars had driven by and seen us looking like fools

Mosey down the road to Garrison Grove for more adventures

  • Head up Garrison, stopping at each driveway on the right for ascending and alternating numbers of T-merkins and Big Boys (1 T, 2 BB, 3 T, 4 BB, up to house 20)
  • WAIT!!! Someone pointed out Ex-Lax’s house at the top of the road, so we made a detour to do monkey humpers in his driveway.
  • Finish the plan back at the start

More Garrison with (hey, it’s Posse arriving to join in!)

  • 10x gorilla humpers, run up the hill for 10x Aussie burpees (they’re not real burpees)
  • Repeato, repeato again with a backwards run on the final set
  • Backwards Mosey for a last round of monkey humpers in Ex-Lax’s driveway

Leave Garrison for the Millbridge entrance, grab a couple of rocks for people’s chair with 30x punches. 10x step-ups on sign, to which most refused.

WAIT!!! Let’s do more goofballs on Kensington by popular demand! Finally one truck drove by to stare, allowing us to move on.

Mosey to the school bus entrance and split into 3 groups to rotate between

  • supines on the swings
  • Dips on the bench
  • Climbing over the birthday rock (timer group)

Mosey towards COT, stopping to navigate the crack, or raccoon crawl in the longest line in the parking lot, which happened to be a crack in the asphalt.

Back to COT for American knockouts and Supermans.


Several of the PAX had not experienced a YHC Q — and now they may have had enough to last them a while. Exercises from the bowels of the exicon, semi-complicated instructions, impromptu changes of plan, monkey humpers, something stupid and hopefully a few laughs.

The mumblechatter was strong this morning ranging from kids to football to wetting yourself to cracks and then to YHC’s poor dog that recently ruptured an anal gland. No, it did not result from home remedies, YouTube videos on vet care or anything else suggested that was so so so much more unthinkable. Winnie Cooper is doing better now. Probably a good thing YHC did not say the dog’s name during the workout.

Kudos to Twinkle Toes for his enthusiasm for the goofballs and his willingness to keep posting in spite of shoulder issues. Love that he was all in for the fun and not embarrassed, even took pleasure in the embarrassment of others. Mad Dog if always a beast out there and today was no exception. Props to Posse for somehow finding us in spite of us trying to hide in a less used part of the AO. Butterman keeps it so lovely out there — love it! Great to see Atlas after not crossing paths for a while. Ghosted is a mountain goat when running backwards uphill — must be all that Pursuit. Deep Dish and Chainsaw bring excellent goofball form, even if they won’t admit it and Popeye’s enthusiasm for messing with Ex-Lax was inspiring, while his ability to resist a full-on Q-jack was appreciated. And Rocky Balboa, er, Fuse Box loves the variations of burpees and the associated discussion along with chatter of any sort — thanks for always keeping it lively.


  • Collecting food for Waxhaw Elementary. Get cans to Posse at the Lycan.
  • Better news from Chainsaw about his niece — still a long road ahead so keep them in your TAPS
  • HIMpact Local 5k/10k with SOB and Area 51 on Dec 4th — Waxhaw is lagging, so sign up
  • Briarcrest Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving — fight sarcoma!
  • Get your dog groomer regularly and professionally to avoid unspeakable injuries
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