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Pull my hose

Lots of hose jokes this morning. They won’t be repeated here. You had to be there.

No moseying today. All moseying is replaced by The Hose™. Indian run style. 4 guys pull the hose (lol). Of the remaining pax, the last 2 do 2 Merkins then run forward to replace the front guys on the hose. Rinse and repeat until we get to the destination.

In case you’re wondering, The Hose™ is a 40ish foot fire hose weighing around 80 lbs. But the problem isn’t just the weight. It’s the friction of dragging it. Lots of chafing.


Hose run from COT all the way to the high school parking lot. That’s it. We’re definitely warm.

The Thang

Stations – Mysterious heiroglyphs written in chalk on the sidewalk roughly translated to the following:

  • Curls/Squats
  • Tricep Extensions/Big Bois
  • Shoulder Presses/Lunges
  • Merkins/Speed Skaters
  • Chest Presses/LBCs
  • Bent Over Rows/Mountain Climbers
  • Knee Ups/Plank Jacks

Timer: One person pull their hose down to the parking lot island and back

The savvy reader will notice there are two exercises listed in each bullet point. The pax may choose which exercise they do or alternate between them. The only requirement is to always be moving.

Certain pax, Rudolph and Sleazy Mutton (names changed to protect their identities), chose to modify and pulled their hoses together. No judgement. Well…a little judgement.

Back to the team hose pulling, down to the far end of the parking lot just to get some extra mileage in then back where we came from, up past Geeb Jungle and to the benches

Partner exercises. 150 each of Dips, Step-Ups, and Derkins. Partner runs to the first traffic circle and back

Back to the hose pull. At this point the pax have mutinied and everyone is carrying the hose rather than do the indian run style previously mentioned. I’ll allow it. Over to the second part of the high school lot. Drop the hose. You’re welcome.

Line up in parking spaces. In cadence: 10 Low Slow Squats, 10 Low Slow Merkins, 10 American Hammers. Suicide sprints to the next set of parking spaces, back, to the second set of parking spaces and back. Repeato the whole thing.

Hose time! Now Ice9 has coiled the hose around his waist several times and is dragging the rest of the pax behind him. Over to the alcove for the next set of exercises on the wall: 50 Air Presses, 10 Donkey Kicks, 25 Air Presses, 10 Donkey Kicks, 15 Air Presses, 10 Donkey Kicks

Back on the hose. Ice9 again goes for the hole. I’m right behind Ice so it’s tough to tell who the culprit(s) is/are but now the hose is dragging on the ground. Lots of Ice9 yelling about getting his hose off the ground. Over to the benches at the front of the high school.

New partners. 100 each of Mike Tysons, Big Bois, and Heels to Heaven. Your partner runs a hot lap around the loop. Running low on time, so audible to 50 each.

Last hose run down the front road and back to COT. Almost got some merlot splashed by Ice9, so I consider it a successful Q. A couple minutes to spare, so finish up with: 10 Merkins IC, 10 Squats IC, 10 Diamond Merkins IC, 10 Bomb Jacks, 10 Wide Arm Merkins IC, and American Hammers until time expires.


Good job by the pax today. Everyone was determine not to let the hose whip them but instead to beat the hose.

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