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Magically Delicious

10 pax arose from the fart sack to suffer the latest installment of The Floater: St. Paddy’s Day Edition. Mostly decked in varying shades of green, as befitting the holiday, they gathered nervously around the ominous bag lay haphazardly upon the sidewalk. DiCCS were given, as is our custom in the Waxhaw region, as well as instructions for the bag: The bag goes where we go, carried by the pax, and when the timer sounds the bag’s courier reaches in and extracts a Lucky Charm, to be read aloud and directions followed.


Mosey down McDonald St, towards Broad St, take a right on Price St, and then another right on Church St. and back to the start. That’ll be our loop for today. Along the way the timer goes off, a Lucky Charm is removed, and an exercise is called out. I’m still not sure if I believe Ice 9 pulled “8 Broad Jump Burpees” or if he just made that one up but we did them anyways. Then we did the actual warmup I had planned which included SSHs, Imperial Walkers, and some Potato Pickers. This is where Ice 9 really took the “modify as needed” phrase to heart and did his own workout next to the rest of us. He claims he was protesting the Irish stereotypes in my weinke but those were just coincidences because I didn’t even realize today was St. Patrick’s Day.

The Shenanigans

Back at COT I noticed a white board with exercises hidden in the shadows of the stairwell. That was convenient since I hadn’t planned anything for the rest of the morning. Utilizing the writings on the board we began a 4 Leaf Clover, which in the local vernacular is known as a 4 Corners; more specifically a Progressive 4 Corners.

The corners were as follows: (2=1 when possible)

  • 10 Irish Jigs (High Knees)
  • 10 Leaping Leprechauns (Bobby Hurleys)
  • 10 Irish Springs (Bonnie Blairs)
  • 10 Fightin’ Irish (American Knockouts)

And just because, I added 5 burpees at the start of each round. But wait…

…ever the keen eye, I noticed upon arrival that a few of the pax *cough* rickybobbyandice9 *cough* weren’t wearing the customary green. As punishment, instead of pinching them, I added an additional 2 burpees (one each) to the initial 5, which gave us the lucky number 7! How fortuitious.

Along the way the pax repeatedly grabbed my Lucky Charms as they alternated holding my sack. True teamwork. Exercises included: Frog Jumps, Mountain Climbers, Moroccan Night Clubs, Dollies, Air Presses, Jump Squats, and the above mentioned Broad Jump Burpees.

Next up we moseyed to the front of the Blue Door Deli and partnered up for the back half of the workout. Again, the mysterious whiteboard made an appearance with a new set of exercises written in green ink. They read:

  • 100 River Dances (Step-Ups)
  • 100 Irish Car Bomb Jacks
  • 100 Conor McGregors (Mike Tysons)

To be done collectively as a team, one member exercises and the other runs the long loop to COT and back to the Blue Door Deli. Sadly, we ran out of time before anyone finished but we made it back to COT right on time.


Interesting/amusing things from today:

  • Limericks, Pots o’ Gold, the Blarney Stone, and Guinness were just a few of the things that didn’t make the cut on the ol’ weinke.
  • Easy Button’s face when I said we wouldn’t be hitting any hills today
  • Recalculating when someone snuck Zin’s kettlebell into the bag of Lucky Charms
  • Ice 9 protesting the stereotypes of Irish culture
  • The lady in the car at the top of Stupid People Only Hill that probably called the cops on us
  • Mad Dog didn’t know people drink on St. Paddy’s Day
  • Mad Dog watches some interesting TV shows
  • Dunkin only came back to Waxhaw because gas prices are so high


It seemed fitting to close with an Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
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