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Like a Bridge Over Troubled Waters

AO: Off__Chain
Q: Titanium Plates, Rockwell
PAX: Endo, Cartel, Rockwell, Roomba, Stretcher, Maple Syrup
FNGs: None
WARMUP:. Diccs, cant sue me, can’t sue F3, lets go.
Drop in five forks pool past JFK’s grassy knoll, over the whooper ditch that will someday be a real jump if someone brings a shovel, into Howard’s mill loop.
Howard’s mill loop. Yeah it actually has some history folks, there was a settlement a century and a half ago called Howard’s mill which had a mill or two on the river… in fact the ditches that are carved around “ooh that would be a sick half pipe” are all old stream diversions for mills. How bout that? So Lawson’s attempt to use old names for roads to link all these people from Long Island to some southern history sorta worked until you made them all have white aluminum fences.

Crossed the creek to splash mud and dirt on your bike, face and legs to prove to yourself, and your wife, that you can still be a kid again as well as guarantee your bottom bracket will be squeaking tomorrow. spit out the water unless you want a real virus.

Straight up and over newest feature log ride, or around it if you watched me almost face plant over the handlebars… sick brah!!! Directly up over the river and through the woods to lenny’s hill we go up the “easy” middle, “don’t turn right! LOOK At ME”. “over here OVER HERE!!!!!”

The grinding of chain to sprocket from overly axiious thumbs pushing wires through tubes into japanese engineered and chinese built articulating contraptions in an attempt to ease the torture of leg burn resonated in through the woods. does a bear snort in the woods? IDK… Better get the right gear prior to climb up chunk or your nuts are rolled and racked.

Get to the top of the hill and dropped down outer right through rock garden (yes it’s rollable as me and cooter hand placed those things), and over super sketch bridge (scrap wood from underneath someones deck screwed to cedar logs) with a gap and dead branch laying in wait to rip your toe off, and down round the (off) camber line , ooh that could be a jump, bump, maybe ill bring a shovel next time and through the bermed ditch back to brody corner (ask cooter why its named that) and back up easy inner right weaving round rooty scob crag and past grab your bar vines and to the top.
Took a breather – modify as needed, not wanted and peered into the eyes of the bax to see if their souls were crushed or they were indeed having fun. Check! come out yer-self and see foo…

Half took the technical stream drop as I pointed out future lines that could be built if we ever retire or lose our jobs, while the other half went back down easy up to meet up at the stream. The six made it through ok …. No blood n guts n stuff.
Back around Howard’s mill loop, around the pretty stream and old farm cross over road I found one day on a map, round big ass tree that needs to get dealt when Greg gives me my chainsaw back and I put a new chain on it (off the chain) to sidewalk.

Modify as needed, some take the white knuckler riverbank while others risk making the Lawson facebook page running down Karen and FIDO on the sidewalk.

Ripped through Cutty Connector, at great speed, which was thankfully sprayed by a trail fairy, and over a freshly repaired by another trail fairy bridge that was vandalized by some trail runner (ask Rubbermaid about trail runners and their propensity destroy bridges as they stomp out their stress and anger on the dirt).
Up outer left, which would be a pretty good down some day, to poco loop – trail builder secret line for a couple to hit the kicker, and back up the loop de luuuu climb to outer left.
Breather and half the bax decided to do snake 2 down and bomb line 3 up and jump line 4 down…. snake is super chop scree rooty fizzu and probably needs some dirt work as I was reminded I wont do that again.

the jump line pallet jump, clavicle corner, and mini gap were hit by the pros and not the joes. back to jungle skinny and through cutty connector.

Back at the parking lot completely soaked, dirty, and happy middle aged men proudly pull out coolers of beer from favorite breweries in town and round. Founders, Sugar Creek Big O, Wicked Weed were repped.
Best dressed – Stretcher
Most sweat like butter dripping off a hot biscuit – tie between Maple Syrup and Roomba
Hardtail ripper award goes to Cartel – crushin
best all around ride – (L) endo Calrissian – who I thought was a closet jedi.
Most handsome award goes to Rockwell
Most tired – Titanium Plates – FKA Golden Plates
ANNOUNCEMENTS: B3 Bikes, Beer, BBQ – Rockwells Aug 26th – ride at 6 everyone else at 7pm

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