Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
What had happened was: Daylight savings means just one thing to me and my iron legged friends – off the chain is back fo shizzle straight up smoother than gin and juice-natch – bieatch!
This year didn’t seem like some kind of reunion given the fact most didn’t hibernate like mother bear over the winter and peddled through the gloom.
In the parking lot, we gathered and a little homie grom roles up on an ebike asking me if he can join the ride. I mean what 10 year old kid on a mini bike wants to hang out and ride bikes with 40-60year dogz ?
I said, well, you need to talk to boss man werthers – and yes, he said “werthers? like the candy my grandma has that no one eats?”
Right on time, everyone launched down the hill separating wheat and chaff ie One toward cutty and another toward Lenny to get the maiden voyage up the lung‑puncher King Kong —everyone pretending they weren’t redlining while casually chatting about tire pressure, maxxis vs conti and who forgot to charge their derailleur battery again. The pace lead by this years Q – Breezer was intense. Even though I’ve been riding all winter, I couldnt figure out why buffet was only wearing flip flops, on a fresh knee replacement and slinging a we big purple surprise between his legs. I guessed that werthers or his proctologist talked him into a sexy new mail order orbea Spanish (b)ride…. More on that later
Anyway, Once we hit the top, I asked kid dyna-mini-bike who had been ralping up rockwells ass the whole way have you ever been experienced? Well I have…
With sheepish eyes, no. I’m lost. are there any jumps? I was like yeah- you ride with the big boys now cuz. He said, well, I need to go get my seat that fell off. Son, gotta get a wrench from your dad.
Half the crew went sending the newly routed with non-wrist breaking flow on Kong, while the other half was just trying to keep their wheels pointed in the same direction down the upper gnar to set land speed records of tasty loam ranger. Zero crashes, one near‑death squirrel encounter, and a whole lot of hooting through the trees.
Dropping the Kong is Definitely a highlight after a long climb. But no rest for weary – onward!
Pace along puckerbutt and then to convenience store was fire. Then smoke…. Then a sudden stop on cureton connector due to a brush fire in the woods! I guess the Karen’s on the Facebook page were right – teenagers are lighting fires in the parking lot. Luckily they had the sense to call the fire dept while we guided the truck to the inferno.
Rockwell in his fatherly wisdom told the young offenders, even though you are stupid for lighting fires in the woods, it was good you called the fire dept. One kid replied- we didn’t light it, it was just starting when we walked over here.👈. lol. Son, gotta get a beating from your dad.
At the formerly peanut butter slide, the faster whole squad rolled up lookin’ like the Mountain Bike Dogg Pound—helmets tilted, shades on, hydration packs swingin’ like gold chains in a West Coast breeze. Peaches Tires were fresher than a new pair of Chucks, and everybody was schralpin cutty n talkin’ big game like they were about to headline the Tour de Tha Doggfather – well he got the Winter Olympics so must be doin something right.
They hit that first climb and instantly found out who’d been trainin’ and who’d been snackin’. Legs were burnin’ but the crew kept it playa—slow crankin’, heavy breathin’, and throwin’ out motivational wisdom like, “Keep yo’ cadence smooth, homie,” and “Ain’t no shame in walkin’, but there is shame in complainin’.”
Wrapped it up at the trailhead with high‑fives, circle, countarama, prayer, and one of the longest set ups for a family photo ever. I mean we start on time but it sorta falls apart from there with cans and yap, and camera settings, fatherly advice, one liners, banter, beer can cracks, teasing the werthers (formerly known as rag) and the usual debate about whether we “earned” burritos or “deserved” them. Spoiler: we got burritos.
Ceremonial hand off of the flag from @werthers @kickstand @hall monitor to @breezer @southern tip and @cable guy.
Big thanks to the trail gnomes and fairies putting in the work to keep the trails fun and the squirrels chased- doing their part to get kids off the devices.
Oh, and yeah- that new shiny big purple Spaniard thing strapped between buffets legs? Orbea Ebike! I guess it’s ok that 10 year old kids and old guys with flip flops and knee replacement surgery a month ago get some pedal assist.
Prayers for @ hall monitors mom, @cartels mom
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