[off_the_chain] Too many puppies on the green mile

May 10, 2023
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AO: Off__Chain
Q: Titanium Plates
PAX: Rockwell, Twinkle toes, Cartel, Southern Tip – Brent, Mustard, Rag – Joseph Moubarak, Endo, Stretcher – Jason Olszewski, Peaches, bumblebee, Krikey
FNGs: 1 Krikey
WARMUP: just send it



Showed up with a dirty dozen Ready to hammer gnar with my new chromAg daggas and StEVO, well actually just Chester’s…. The grip2 fox factory’s blew my wad.

A couple FNG’s well actually one guy is not an FNG what is name is bumblebee so maybe he wants to be an FNG to get a new nickname along with Satish. Yes th

Did the drop in from 5forks via mini roller past the grass slum to little huck down through the slop and cedar chest of despair to Howards Mill‘s historical trail loop for those keeping track. Crossed the Fjord -there was only 4 inches deep but still dudes soaked bottom brackets. Slow and steady wins the race Yom Kippur.   No proof in the pudding since I didn’t have a Kodak stare.  If you aren’t wet, you’ll be sweating soon anyway.I don’t know how many times trail fairies need to shovel Gravel to get that stream crossing like a manicured yellow brick road before people can actually cross it without getting wet- maybe need a big gap jump instead.    On Lenny, Climbed the right route loop and ripped down the camera, Kham, boo skinny shlev to the climb of Clav. She is slevvy foo too.   Dropped in on, the stream chunk, crack, Craigle Craigle, Klago, berm perm, Shiz you pick the line and pop, not pick and drop to log jam, almost skinny, chunky to the monkey. It ain’t a zoo, funky ride, using more travel than advertised, but still not casing it with the over priced suspension snaffles.

Climbed Lenny’s inner right thigh, extreme through Kareem of chrome cream, Abdul Jones n bar to drop through triple roll of jelly dough, while twinkle toes jived the jib of the job like I was trying to ditch to dab the dough, but I was hammering down on my flats to the rubber flow for the photo to the Kazo to the Kazan to the Soso.   Special agent oso is fo real yo…

Climbed up the OG rooty tech route du jour, and too much for clips zoo to feel the burn like you’re sucking on a kazoo and au gratin potatoes.   Drop down the jump line hitting fast flow with the crag of moon dust into the half pipe berm where middle aged men dream of a fakey rodeo mc twist grab off an epic kicker to clean the landing and that’s the rest of the story – no i cased it.

Picked up the six and returned back across the fjord with only one observed dab and dry to avoid any flesh eating amoebas aboard in brain as bax rode up the rock up this lock up the middle Mac mow Micmac Fudoh to the bank of Mc doodle and no slippage or peanut butter face plants.  Rode left round hambones favorite scenic single track a long the stream of babbling brook ala mountain stream ecstasy that makes you forget our concrete jungle, which is why we don’t ride sidewalks.   Idaho sucks tell everybody.   To my dismay, some mofo of Chromagnon IQ

or slow Mo decided to paint arrows onto the sidewalk and concrete, and I need to figure out paint thinner tomorrow- all who wander are not lost, and if you just keep going you’ll get there from here.

Journeyed on through cutty connector fast upon on the doppio sand 74-z speeder StEVO sorta Endor like and I swore I saw an Ewok, but maybe it was just a deer…

Came into our own as we hit the climb of 3 and went down 1 into pocos green Mile-“I’m rightly tired of the pain I hear and feel, boss. I’m tired of bein on the road, lonely as a robin in the rain. Not never havin no buddy to go on with or tell me where we’s comin from or goin to or why. I’m tired of people bein ugly to each other. It feels like pieces of glass in my head. I’m tired of all the times I’ve wanted to help and couldn’t. I’m tired of bein in the dark. Mostly it’s the pain. There’s too much. If I could end it, I would. But I can’t…. “ Just keep pedaling it will be ok.  

Went down the poco steeps and down the middle earth huck to flat and root kicker and creep up the chunk rock garden stack with burning out the legs funk.  It was 7pm and a couple pax bonked so chased twinkle toes down the squirrelly rats nest and all the way up so stretcher could tow me into clavicle corner – yes I’ve finally overcome my fear since I paid the bill.  Some banter around a session for jump line, but we out of time so back through cutty connector to COT where everyone fo sho earned their brewski.

Idk man you just gotta come out and ride mountain bikes Circle of trust.

Flava flave award goes to FNG krikey
Bumble bee brought his e-bike but apparently has a fatty rigid- we will see next week?  Idk!

Rag brought the lidl yum yums! What a guy!