[The B.E.A.S.T.] The B.E.A.S.T. Starts when??!!

AO: The B.E.A.S.T.
Q: Gerber ,
PAX: Elmer’s, Gerber, Easy Button, Chastain, Mad Dog, Bottlecap
FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
What had happened was:

When I was asked to Q The Beast, I was honored. As many of you know, I’ve been battling some injuries and only posting a few days a week, and Tuesday has generally become my designated “don’t hurt yourself worse” day. But The Beast called, and I answered.

Now, The Beast has quite a history. If memory serves me correctly, it started as Watchtower at Weddington Elementary, migrated to Brooklyn Pizza, and somehow eventually found its way to New Town Elementary. At this point, tracking The Beast’s location is about as easy as track 2xT’s location at a workout.

Determined to deliver a workout worthy of the name, I woke up early and spent 30 minutes biking and stretching. I wanted to be loose, prepared, and ready to unleash a legendary beatdown at 5:30 AM.

At 5:22 AM, I casually rolled into the New Town parking lot and was pleased to see several cars already there. “Wow,” I thought, “great turnout for the pre-run.”

As I stepped out of my vehicle, I noticed five guys standing in a circle stretching. “That’s adorable,” I thought. “A little pre-workout mobility session.”

That’s when I learned The Beast had apparently made a last-minute change to a 5:15 AM start and somehow neglected to inform the actual Q.

Was I hurt?
Maybe a little.
Was I surprised?
Not really.

Given The Beast’s rich tradition of changing names, locations, and apparently now start times, this felt perfectly on brand.

After quickly taking the reins from the early starters, we headed off campus for some running, some work, and some more running. We eventually returned to the playground for pull-ups, squats, merkins, Ups, and laps around the track.

The workout was so effective that the PAX began lobbying for an early release. Seeing the exhaustion on their faces—and being the benevolent leader that I am—I graciously granted their request and ended the workout at 6:00am.

Some will say we finished 15 minutes early.