AO: last_call
Q: Hatchet
PAX: Hatchet, Deep Dish, Posse, Fuse Box, One Star, Rooster, Cliffhanger
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
What had happened was:
Last Call moved to the Publix in Marvin a little while back. I thought to myself, man this is convenient. It starts at 5:45 and it’s less than a mile from my house. How could I possibly not be a regular at a workout that is LATER and CLOSER. Well, I don’t know, but I’ve only been 2-3 times and can’t figure it out. Now, most people assume I know all about last call at the bar, due to my heavy boozing habits in the past. However, I was never around for last call. I had a very strict routine and schedule at the bar to make sure I maximized every opportunity. I would roam around and search for capable lady friends that may have wanted to go to the redneck after party at the residence of Big Linc Dawg. I felt sorry for the frat boys, they would buy all the hot sorority chicks their drinks all night, but deep down, they all knew that even though they were buying the booze, the ladies were still gonna be waking up in the morning with them country boys. I never knew what those hot sorority girls loved about us country boys (actually I do know😳) but they COULD NOT stay away. I mean, I still wake up beside a smoking hot, former Chi Omega sorority girl every morning. After 16 years, she’s still hooked. I mean, come on, some nights a brother just wants to cuddle and fall asleep, but I’m not gonna skip out on my marital duties. 🤣 Anyway, if 1:30 am rolled around and no lady friends had been acquired yet, I would start a brawl. My main man Jesse was a bouncer so he always made sure I didn’t get roughed up too bad. But see, I’m crazy like that, I didn’t really care if I was distributing or receiving the a** kicking. I just loved the rush. So, regardless of whether I was with a lady friend, or distributing an a** kicking, I HAD to leave the bar by 1:40 am. That gave me just enough time to get a ride to the Circle K to pick up two 12 packs (one Natural light and one Busch Light) before they stopped selling booze at 2, and get back to my place to get that beer pong table dialed up and ready for a legendary “redneck after party”. So yeah, I’ve heard of last call, but I’ve never been around to experience it. By the time the 2 am last call happened, I was already at home and 2 Busch Light cans deep picking out tunes for the playlist that I knew the Chi Omega ladies would enjoy.
My inability to get to last call (the bootcamp) pissed me off. So I finally decided that I would sign up to Q. I mean, you HAVE to show up if you’re the Q right? I mean, you can’t oversleep if you’re the Q can you? Well I was wrong. I woke up last Friday at 6:06 am. Man I was pissed, I was gonna roll back over and try to hide. But I decided to man up and take my beating. So I made the 45 second drive to Publix just as the boys were getting back to COT. I fell on my sword and apologized, closed out in prayer, and apologized to Posse and Rooster. I mean, I could have blamed it on being out too late at the concert, I could have blamed my phone alarm volume, and I could have blamed it on the fact that after the concert, my wife was ready to knock boots until the wee AM hours. You see, when my wife starts drinking, there is a very fine and delicate line between “frisky” and “asleep”. You guys know what I’m talking about. You’ve got to time it just right. And after 16 years of playing that game and mastering my craft, last Thursday night, I played it PERFECTLY. So yeah, if the only casualty after a night of boot knockin’ like that was a missed Q, I’ll take that any day.
The site Q’s were forgiving and let me sign up to Q again this week. I made it my goal all week to make sure I wasn’t gonna miss it again. And I didn’t. I made it there, and I was 15 minutes early😳. The pax showed up, they all looked at me, and it was at that point I remembered something. I had been so focused on not missing the workout, that
I completely forgot to plan the actual workout. So, we just ran around for a little bit until I thought of something. I repeated that 3 or 4 times and by then it was 6:30. So that’s what we did today at last call. Good work fellas.
Sincerely,
Hatchet
