[off_the_chain] Sweat MEAT rides again

April 19, 2023
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AO: Off__Chain
Q: Titanium Plates, Magnolia
PAX: Zinfandel, Mustard, Endo, Hi-Hat, Rubbermaid, Paul Boskovich – Kodak, Southern Tip – Brent, Twinkle toes, Peaches, stretcher
FNGs: None
WARMUP: just don’t die on me man



Classic of the chain experience tonight.

Where else in the world are there stand up family men who work for banks, or buy and sell homes, or are marketing executives, and bearing salesmen show up to ride dirt bikes in the woods behind the school after work, and call each other stupid ass nick names like twinkle toes (or golden plates). You can torture me all you want.” Mr. Q modify as needed not wanted“ Torture you? That’s a good idea. I like that.”

Kodak made an appearance just for the kickoff – had his own mash with his dog.

Magnolia gave the diccs and I proceeded to give the route plan – frankly it was originally the pussy plan but stud man Rockwell stood up now that it’s above 50 degrees and said let’s go poach the lenny gnar. Yeah I said poach- look it up, your progressive tax dollars didn’t end up in an outdoor recreation budget in your town to pay some burnout hippy to design trails and then build them with a skid steer and illegal immigrant labor in your backyard… everyone wants sidewalks with curbs, gutter, guardrails and warning signs and disclaimers… sorry I’m not going to wrap your ass in bubble wrap, or pad the ground to keep you from getting banged up, you show up to ride bikes in the woods on rogue trails, to earn your barley soda and 45 minutes of man time, it’s gonna get raw with a bunch of pipe hitting bromies…

Speaking of diccs, twinkle toes, came back after getting his ass handed to him – it’s a natural occurrence for men with substance to ride a buckin bronco, get thrown, and get back in saddle – it’s called character… most y’all f3 dudes have it… Im not just blowin smoke… up in smoke? Kind green bud? Grandmas cookies? Anyway ….. Zinfandel made his season debut and petitioned that twiklnkle fairy get renamed to sweet meat. He made a pretty compelling arguement I must admit – sweet meat… drips off the tongue like butta dripping off a hot biscuit. But then he pulled out a limited edition release can of bud light that survived kid rocks AK with some she- dude on it… I mean kid rock shot that shit up, but damn… bud light is pretty epic beer right? Well it’s not from golden Colorado or Yuengling – merica…. Golden Colorado? I don’t know man… silly silly…. Just drink craft. I got it on draft In my basement and zin has like the most epic beer room east of the Mississippi… or maybe the Watauga.

The thang, dropped in from 6 forks, to howo mill, cross the fjord to Minsk to lenny hill pet the rabbits. Grown men and Bunny references are hot I guess after Easter. If you go slow… you don’t get wet. Trust me! What the f%%%{{^ am I writing???? I’ve only ridden that like 259 times in the last 18 months.

With wide eyes and deep lungs everyone climbed and dropped several of the new hand crafted 2023 lenny hill lines. Hope you like it, If not see ya at Sherman with 1000 other homies on Saturday. Picked up a pax – mustard!!! Came lAte but but brings a cooler of craft.

Cutty connector to cutty 2 climb…. Dropped down 1 into poco grass line-I think most everyone set land speed records… imit’s time for a big table top… did someone say trail day???

Climbed up poco to cutty and hit 4 jump line. Im telling you the gap Jump is sa sa sa smoooooth if y’all want to learn to jump, take the gap.

Pulled back to COT… and what do you know? Rubbermaid was there on his wife’s bike. For a guy who runs 100 miles at a time, I would have thought he’d show up on a chromed out roger de coster.

Anyway had some good chatter and beer.. flava flav award goes to peaches. Moving to the country, im gonna eat a lot of peaches… peaches come from a can🥫🥫🥫🥫they were put there by a man… in a factory 🏭 downtown…
I don’t know; I think he needs to have a rename to driving miss daisy – for picking up endo callrissian the Jedi Massa of mountain biking. I tried to smoke him today, but to no avail as usual… on my ass with a shit Eatin grin. Lol. He’s back!!!! And peaches was only seventh place!

My weds day night meal plan is sorta heavy on the carbs.

Ok I’m done😉.

Announcements – WTF needs some help with pulling markers off the trails after the race- probably quicker on bikes. I’ll be there 10-12 to help out and get my hoodie.