[ignition] Always carry bourbon in case of snakebite. Also, always carry a small snake.

AO: ignition
Q: Chastain
PAX: Chastain, Easy Button, Rain Man, Gerber, Hooch, Gasparilla, Tollbooth
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
What had happened was:

Last night Gasparilla and I made terrible choices and finished a bottle of bourbon together. We then continued our terrible choices and failed to drink water. We finalized our bad decision making with our attendance at Ignition. Well, I mean, I was on Q so I kinda had to be there, but ol’ Gaspy had choices

We started with a quick mosey to the library and while we were doing our brief warmup Tollbooth caught up with us. Turns out he thought The Lycan was at Five Stones (it’s not) so he quickly diverted to Cutty. He saw our headlamps running up the hill so he made the (terrible) decision to join us. He also thought Ignition was Flash (it’s not) and that it was only 45 minutes long (it’s also not that either. Well, I mean, there are 45 minutes within the 60 minutes).

So we continued on into Lawson over to the top of Recalc’s road for some 7s. (Burpees at the top and Big Bois at the bottom). About halfway down the hill Easy Button said “you could audible the run to here”. But mama didn’t raise no quitter (read: I am an idiot) and we plowed on. Turns out that hill is 0.19 miles one way so by the time we finished (and yes we did the whole thing) we were close to 3 miles in.

We took another little mosey through Lawson and found the square at Riverbank and Periwinkle Dr. where we admired Mad Dog’s lights from afar before doing some partner laps where you do 10 hand release merkins when you meet. Repeato 4 times.

We were past the halfway point by then and definitely beyond the 4 mile minimum, so we headed back towards the library. Once there we did a lap around the book return loop with some bear crawls, lunge walks, and broad jumps. That was when Easy Button saw his M running down the trail so he ran the fastest he did all morning so it would look like he was in the front. Fortunately for him she runs pretty fast so she was out of sight quickly and he was able to slow back down for our next set of gassers. This is where Gasparilla woke up and crushed the rest of us with the Mike Tysons, Bonnie Blairs, and Big Bois.

A final mosey back to the MS parking lot and down the path to the palace where we did merkins and speed skaters at the lights until time.

Congrats to everyone for finishing. I’m going to take a nap now.