[The Combine] The Combine

AO: The Combine
Q: Blanks , Gasparilla
PAX: Mad Dog, Black Hat, Middleman, Landfill, Blanks, Chaos, Elmer’s, Gasparilla, Chastain, Chainsaw, Avis, Bottlecap, Emoji, Schedule C, Krzyzewski, Hoffa, Pepsi, Gapper, Voodoo, Mountain Mama
FNGs:
COUNT: 20
What had happened was:

Close Encounters of the Swole Kind
21 PAX. 2 Regions. 1 Mission… Suffering.

Launching at dawn, tensions were high at COT. Waxhaw PAX lined up on one side. Area 51 PAX on the other. It looked like we were seconds away from an inter-region showdown.

Then Blanks and Gasparilla stepped in.
“Partner up with a brother from another mothership.”

That’s right, boys. Time for a little cross-breeding. If you left with the same DNA you showed up with, you weren’t trying hard enough.

The Invasion Begins
We opened with a Catch Me If You Can mosey to the field. One partner farmer carried while the other knocked out pushups and squats before sprinting to catch up. By the time we reached the field with our new friends some were already wanting to phone home.

The speakers fired up, we circled for stretches, merkins, and plank jacks, then Gasparilla yelled something that sounded suspiciously like, “ALL ABOARD the

Pain Train
Mission: move the PAX from one goal line to the other.
Round 1:
– Bear crawl 20 yards…
– 20 Tysons.
– Crab walk…
– 10 V-ups.
About halfway through the first set of 20 Tysons, cries of “MUTINY!” echoed across the field. Turns out twenty Tysons is a lot on repeato.

Round 2 featured lunge walks and a burpee ladder. One… two… three… four… five…
Fortunately, Gasparilla experienced a brief lapse in pirate judgment and agreed to ladder the burpees back down. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
A rare act of mercy. It won’t happen again.

Body Snatchers
Blanks grabbed the wheel.
Goal line to goal line with stops every 15 yards for swings, goblet squats, high pulls, and everyone’s favorite…
Snatches.
PAX were instructed to snatch till completion and ensure everyone left satisfied. Another mission accomplished.

The Waxhaw boys were feeling pretty smug… until they looked over and realized the Area 51 crew were lugging around 60-pound kettlebells clearly unphased by gravity.

Suitcase carries. Rack carries. Waiter carries.
Just when everyone thought the suffering was over, we bear crawled with kettlebells for the final 20 yards, stopping every five yards for squat thrusters.

Area 51 Burner
Free Bird was less Independence Day and more War of the Worlds.
During the guitar riff we completed about Infinity kettlebell swings and beyond that merkins.

Completely gassed at exactly 45 minutes, a few hopeful souls started smiling…
…only to discover there were 15 minutes left.
The emotional damage was immediate.

One more Catch Me If You Can back toward COT, interrupted by a scenic stop at

Dumpster Hill.
Two rounds:
– Bell carry uphill with curls
– 10 squats at the summit
– Tricep extensions downhill
– 10 Simbas
– 25 Big Bois

We closed with Tysons, plank shoulder taps, and American Hammers before gathering for COT.

Announcements
-September 7: Waxhaw Anniversary Celebration. All regions welcome.
-September 26: Adventure Quest — Amazing Race-style challenge with run, ruck, and bike divisions. Register now.

Prayers
-Aging parents
-Our children
-That God would continue to work through us as leaders in our homes, workplaces, and communities.
Until next time… SYITG