Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Alright, listen—first off, I gotta apologize for this being late. I know, I know… the TPS reports gotta be on time. God forbid we don’t document a bunch of middle-aged guys running around like a bunch of labradors chasing a frisbee at 5:15 in the damn morning. You ever think about that?
But have to be sure to maintain our stat counts while we’re out here pretending to be athletes before the sun’s even up.
Today Q was all about the game and quick warmup while our 2 captains (Schneider/Tom Evans and Ricky Bobby – Andrew Cassano)picked teams.
And let’s talk about the game itself—absolute clinic put on by my squad. I mean, Easy Button was throwing dimes, absolute beauties… and what happened? Most guys—grown men, by the way—couldn’t catch a cold in a daycare. Just butterfingers all over the place. Frisbee/Ball hits ‘em right in the hands and then—BOOM—straight to the ground like my hopes and dreams. A couple of ‘em managed to hang on and score, but let’s be honest—it was more luck than skill at that point.
Oh, and Dasher—my guy, we knew it was coming. You ever see a car with one headlight out, rattling down the street? You just know it’s not gonna make it to the next gas station? Yeah, that was Dasher – Jeff Green. Both Captains read the draft report and took one look at him and were like, ‘Yeahhh, we’re not wasting a draft pick on that ticking time bomb.’ And surprise surprise—boom, injured in first half. Hate to see it.
Then there’s Twinkle toes —guy comes in trying to drop some deep SABR metrics, like we’re playing for a contract extension. “It’s all about the angles, guys!” Oh really, buddy? Yeah? The only angle I saw was you dropping passes at a 90-degree decline. Maybe work on that before you start giving TED Talks on game strategy.
At the end of the day, though—good times, good effort, and let’s be honest, this is the only recognition most of us are getting for our athletic abilities. A bunch of dudes who peaked in high school, running around at the crack of dawn, pretending we’re still in our prime. But hey—we showed up, we played, and some of us even survived. That’s gotta count for something.
Looking forward to next time… or at least the next TPS report.